Don't Quit Your Day Job

School has started, with the attendant joys of back-to-school shopping (love me some school supplies) and French onion soup (this year's requested menu by the student in question).

I can't believe The Child is a junior. No, really. She almost wasn't. The end of last year required no small amount of hard, hard work to keep her from flunking out. She pulled that off and went to summer school besides. Only, it turns out, not as much summer school as she needed. That was, on one level, my fault. With all the stuff surrounding Suzanne's death I confused some registration dates. But, as I mentioned to The Child when she attempted to ream me out for this lapse, if she hadn't flunked Algebra we wouldn't be in this mess to begin with. There were meetings and emails and no small amount of worry before she got the go ahead to register. She's making up Algebra in an extra class.

Here's the thing about The Child. She's smart. Plenty smart. She's just not an academician. She really could care less about things, unless she cares about them. (Civil War? Shakespeare? Bring it. Math? Not so much). And her strategy last year, the one that got her into trouble, was to work really hard on big projects and ignore all the little ones. What's 5 points here and there when you get 60 out of 50 on a 10 page paper, right? Wrong. Zeros, she's learned, add up.

She's also come to understand that while she may have every intention of being an actor, she's still going to have to graduate high school, go to college and have some options in life other than "Do you want fries with that?"

Last night, in a rather impressive display of intention, she sat down with me to review every single one of the syllabuses (syllabi?) for her classes. And then she talked about how excited she was about the subject matter ahead and her strategy for staying on top of her work and not letting things slide like she did last year. It was almost as if she finally got it.

Proof will be in the pudding, of course. Let's see what her attitude is like once the work actually begins. But at least she has the right attitude going into this, the sense that she can do this and that good grades are actually something of which she is capable.

Wish us luck. Meanwhile, I'm meeting Chouchou tonight for Bloody Mary dinner, our since-Rainey-went-back-to-work compromise on the traditional Bloody Mary Monday.

Programming Changes

Very little else is on my mind today other than the fact that "Project Runway", after a long hiatus, is returning to the airwaves tonight. I. Love. Tim. Gunn. When I first see him tonight I may just pee a little. Squeeeee!

I was telling MAB that I didn't think I'd be blogging recaps this year, what with the whole having-a-job thing. Those recaps may look effortless as a little black dress with pearls but I work hard on those suckers, people. It usually took me a couple hours to craft one recap and I just couldn't see gittin' 'er done, especially since the show will be airing at 10pm. When I told her this MAB gave me a look, a look you don't want to see. A look so rich with both disappointment and loathing that it turns your heart to stone.

"What?" she asked, her tones measured but loaded with menace.

"I don't think I can recap the show. There's not enough..."

She held up her hand and shook her head. "No, you WILL recap 'Project Runway' and you will recap it on Friday."

"But I..."

"I said you will recap PR on Friday. You will come in late to work. It is more important that you recap the show than get here at 8".

See why I call her My Awesome Boss? It's not just that she is giving me time to write the recap, it's that she understands the importance of PR in a young woman's life. How much do we love MAB?

That said, what I won't be doing is Friday Videos. And I dunno, I think I've sorta run out on that little franchise anyway. Our programming director thinks we'll still play the occasional video but the feature will definitely be retired until the end of "Project Runway". Priorities, people. Plus, ad revenues are down.

In other news, after work last night I drove The Child down to school to buy her books for the new year. They didn't have any of the texts she needed. Great. I fought traffic to drive 20 miles south and they didn't have her books. But since school is starting and we're veryvery busy, we had to accomplish this task. So we drove all the way back into the city and north to the U District to go to the U bookstore.

They had the required books AND we only needed to buy 3. We got 2 of them used so I was pretty happy as I sauntered up to the checkout stand. The total? 200 plus dollars. WHAT? Are these things printed on? Platinum? What a damn racket. Somebody had better get As and Bs this year. Just sayin'.

5% of Every Purchase Goes to the School of Your Choice

I remembered what I wanted to tell you the other day. The Child and I went shopping for school supplies. (Balloons and confetti fall from the ceiling).

This continues to be one of my very favorite things to do, EVER, even though it has its challenges. Turns out, The Child got my office supplies gene. Consequently, keeping her to the list and not buying anything else is a struggle. And really, can you blame her? Have you seen school supplies lately?

When I was The Child's age my school supplies list consisted of:

(1) notebook (which had a dark blue cloth cover; as did every other kid's notebook)
(1) packet wide rule notebook paper
(1) ruler (pale, blonde wood; like every other kid's)
(1) pair scissors (metal)
(1) Bic ball point pen (blue ink)
(1) packet #2 pencils
(1) box colored pencils (12 to a box)
(1) compass (plain ol' metal, just like the scissors)
(1) bottle Elmer's glue
(1) PeeChee folder (which one would immediately customize by giving air quotes to all the people, drawing mustaches and beards on the guys, maybe some fishnet stockings for the cheerleader, like that)

That was it. On the first day of school, you showed up with your supplies in a shopping bag, tossed them into your desk, arranging the pen and a couple of pencils just so in that little lippy shelf thing at the front of the inside of the desk. When school was out for the day you piled your textbooks on top of your notebook and carried the stack home.

Now days, school supplies come in such a plethora of styles it makes your head spin. There wasn't a single item she needed that didn't come in at least 5 different varieties. You can buy entire suites of color coordinated school supplies, from assignment books to binders and everything in between. You know the only thing that is still simple to get? Note book paper and #2 pencils. The rest of it is all about weighing the coolness quotient (her criteria) against price (mine) while factoring in general aesthetics (a motivation we share).

The Child's supply list was simplified from last year in that there were things (scientific calculator, thesaurus, New American Standard Bible) that were purchased last year. In fact, this was one of the least expensive school supply purchases ever. But it was hardly a simple errand, an "in-and-out, now let's go get some lunch" sort of trip. Sure, it looks straight-forward. "Seven single subject spiral notebooks", reads the list.

But which spiral notebooks? The Child kept finding new styles, each one cuter than the last (must have been 20 kinds. I'm not exaggerating). Then I dealt a blow, telling her to just get the plain (and far less expensive) spirals so that she can stick to her color coding system.

"But those are sooooo boring," she complained.

Then I did it. Yes, I did. I pulled out the old "Well, in my day"..."everyone's school stuff looked the same"... "we never had book bags"... "rulers were made of wood and they didn't come in 13 different color combinations"... "they hadn't even invented glue sticks yet"...

That pretty much shut her up, mostly because she just couldn't imagine a world without glue sticks. "What did you use?" she asked in wide-eyed wonder.

"Elmer's glue; plain old Elmer's glue".

"Like this?" she said, picking up the one marked "School glue".

"Nope."

"Like this?", brandishing some sort of blue looking something that apparently goes on clear.

"Nope. Like this. Plain old white Elmer's glue".

"That's amazing", she said, shaking her head.

(I didn't tell her about that thing we'd do where we'd pour some Elmer's on the palm of our hand, spread it out and let it dry so we could try and peel off the whole thing in one go, creating a creepy skin like replica of our palm. We went through a lot of Elmer's that way).

Down the list we go:
Choosing just the right assignment book ("I like this one because it has a lot of space," she said. I liked it because it had this funky orange and lavender cover). √

Selecting folders to match the plain old boring spiral notebooks (that part was fun. The variety is mind-boggling. She went for a combination of post-modern graphics and ones with kitties and horsies). √

Sticky things (Elmer's, glue sticks AND scotch tape). √

2 inch binder. There weren't any 2 inch binders in the section of all too groovy binders (not to mention that binders are now made almost exclusively of very thin plastic which can't possibly hold up to 10 months of bashing around in a back pack). We had to resort to a plain old white binder. There was going to be drama over that. I told her she could decorate it with stickers or something. √

She wanted a new back pack. Which she so doesn't need. That was a protracted debate on par with UN negotiators discussing nuclear development with Iran. In this case, the UN won. Although every once in a while Iran would think of the messenger bag she had fallen for and would mutter "It's only $12". The UN told her that she can go back and buy it with her own money if she wants it that badly.

There were a few other moms and kids engaged in the same project. One was with a little bit of a thing, probably just going off to kindergarten. I had a stab of wistful "seems like yesterday" which just about teetered off into a maudlin "oh, this is the last time we're going to go school shopping together" moment which was abruptly halted when The Child started begging for "these really cute" pink and brown polka dot file folders even though file folders aren't on the list. Which is when I knew that we still have 4 lunch-and-school-shopping trips ahead of us.

There is no way that kid is going to be left alone to do her school shopping unless she's paying for it herself.