Sunday, June 14, 2009

Drum Roll, Please

I would like you all to meet my god-daughter, Kiki.

Let me tell you a little about her, aside from the obvious, which is that she is very beautiful.

Once upon a time her daddy moved to Seattle. He was a lovely boy and I met him at a time when I really needed to know a lovely boy. He became my best friend and we were pretty near inseparable for something like two years. But it is hard, it's been famously said, for a man and a woman to be friends (if they are both straight) and we were no exception. There wasn't a guy I dated during that period who didn't have issues with it. And now, upon consideration, I realize they were entitled. Because the fact was that I wasn't making particularly excellent choices then and I much preferred an evening of shooting pool or hanging out making dinner and playing guitars with Peter to just about anything else. Which, let's face it, doesn't give other relationships much of a shot.

But talking about relationships was the one thing Peter and I didn't do very well. (Sometimes I wouldn't even mention I was dating someone until I was done dating him and he, I think, did the
same thing). And really, both of us needed to be giving some serious attention to the possibility of love. So, one thing and another, we stopped hanging out. Which was sad but sorta inevitable.

I got married. I got pregnant and had The Child. We still saw Peter sometimes, at the wine shop where he worked. Then he got married. One Christmas Eve we saw Peter at mass and met his wife, the lovely Suzanne. For some years that Christmas Eve "hello" was the extent of the relationship.

Then, and this sounds silly but it is true, Facebook happened. I friended Peter. Then I friended Suzanne. Suzanne and I, in particular, started writing little messages to each other and it felt, in a virtual way, that not only was I becoming friends with her but that a friendship with Peter was being restored.

One Sunday we ran into them after Mass and they were in possession of a beautiful, tiny baby. A miracle baby. They had applied to adopt but didn't think their chances were that excellent because they were in their 40s and you know how people are about "older" people adopting (unless they are Madonna or Brad Pitt). Mostly, I think, Peter and Suzanne were just covering all the bases. Then they went on holiday. They came back to many phone messages saying there was a baby and could they meet with the birth mother. Which they did. And she liked them. And within 48 hours they were in possession of Kiki. (Katherine Rose, to be official).

I was invited to the hearing wherein Kiki became officially theirs. It felt like a sacrament. I almost genuflected before I sat on one of the courthouse benches. The little family was called before the judge to tell the story and pledge their commitment to their daughter. (Something those of us who birth a child aren't called to do and more's the pity if you ask me). And voila! Peter and Suzanne were officially parents.

I will tell you the truth. When I left the hearing I felt a little sad. It was a great honor to be included in the group who witnessed the event but it was also clear that Suzanne and Peter have a rich, full life with wonderful friends and neighbors. We have an equally full life. I felt the weight of all the stories between Peter and my "then" and our "now", with no clear way to fill the gap and find a way to play in each other's lives again. It made me sad to think that Facebook and Christmas Eve were to be the extent of our friendship.

Then, out of the blue it seemed, Suzanne sent a message asking if I'd consider being Kiki's godmother.

Consider it? Well, let me think about this for a - oh, hell yes. Official license to spoil that little dumpling? I'm in.

And, as I told Suzanne, in meant all in. Being someone's godmother doesn't mean standing at the font one Sunday, hands outstretched in blessing. It means pledging to God and Peter and Suzanne to be there for them and Kiki as she grows up. It means praying for her and loving her and spending time with her and listening to her. It means taking her out to buy a back pack before she starts school and buying her a corsage when she graduates middle school. It means going to her concerts and giving her Easter baskets and taking her to dinner to celebrate the occasions of her life. It means loving her and being a friend to her even when she is no longer possessed of chubby, edible toes. (I learned all this from The Child's godparents; good role models there, people).

Of course, having informed Suzanne of all that I waited to see if they still wanted me to do it. Saying "yes" to Kiki was to say "yes" to them. If I was going to be Kiki's godmother, they were pretty much going to be stuck with me and The Spouse and The Child. Apparently, they are fine with that.

Yesterday we met at the Corpus Christi Mass and then went to brunch, the start, I know, of many such "family" get-togethers. It was delightful.

Don't I just have the cutest god-baby in the world? Love. Her.



Blogger Bad Alice opined...

She is the most adorable baby ever - outside of my own, of course. She really is a dumpling.

June 15, 2009 8:17 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Yep...pretty much the caveat I use. Of course The Child was the most adorable baby in the whole world ever but Kiki runs a real close second.

June 15, 2009 8:53 AM  
Blogger Willym opined...

What a doll! Those eyes - and that last picture is priceless. Congratulations to all - and she's one lucky little girl cause she's got a great godmother.

June 15, 2009 10:25 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Wills, right? Could they be any bigger or any bluer?

June 15, 2009 10:40 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Those eyes go on for days. And days.

I think she just asked me for a car. Let me get my checkbook.

June 15, 2009 10:40 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...


Congratulations and Blessings all around!

June 15, 2009 10:49 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

JP, I know what you mean. I just bought her a villa in the south of France.

Thank you, Anne.

June 15, 2009 12:09 PM  
Blogger D.A. opined...

Sorry, I have to do this...

She is SO gorgeous, I'm sure she's going to leave MILLIONS of broken hearts in her wake as she grows up... which is all well and good, because she's called Kiki, right?

And what a wonderful story, L.

June 16, 2009 5:22 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

DA- yeah, one look at that little face and you can hear future hearts cracking. And thanks.

June 16, 2009 6:07 AM  
Blogger Sling opined...

What the heck are ya supposed to do with all that adora-bubbly-ness?
How can you ever stop squishing her??..
I hope you're prepared as a Godmother to answer these questions.

June 16, 2009 10:15 AM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

Oh my GOSH, she is soooo cute!!!! :)

How can I get me one of those?? *smiles*

June 16, 2009 11:35 AM  
Blogger rosemary opined...

oh cute is that Kiki!!! Glad the cat...Miss Kiera isn't it or is it Princess back.

June 16, 2009 12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha

Yay! Congratulations to you and yours. Yay!

And of course all "good" backpacks have a belly belt to transfer some of the weight to the hips, (hard to find though).



June 16, 2009 5:28 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Sling, I'm searching for the answers as we speak. I want to squish her all up even when I just think about her. Man. Slap that kid between two rounds of pate brisee and pass the whipped cream already!

MHP, when a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...

Rosie, she's the definition of cute. And I'm glad Keira's back, too. She seems to be staying closer to home these days so maybe she done trying to be a Jewish cat.

Anonyba, duly noted.

June 16, 2009 5:44 PM  
Blogger Buck opined...

I think I just ovulated a little bit.

June 17, 2009 6:06 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

She has that affect on people, Buck.

June 17, 2009 6:28 AM  
Blogger Ariel opined...

Lorraine and all:

Missus Kiki's mother here.

My asking was not entirely out of the blue. Lorraine started it!

When I asked Peter what he thought of my proposed candidate for Godmother and he, a non-practicing Catholic and suspected infidel, agreed. The ask went down like this:

From Aunt Raine:
Thanks for the sweet card....I love that you call Katharine "Kiki". Makes me want to pinch her cheeks all over again.

Extremely personal question...are you going to have her baptised at the Cathedral, now that she's yours and all?

From Mommy:
Yes. I want to have her Baptized. I am working through that now. Why?

As a related note, Kiki namesake, Great Grandma Kay, made a Christening gown for her first grandchild in the early 50s. All the kids in that family, including Peter, Baptized in it. Kiki is still little for it, so I am thinking late summer.

From Aunt Raine:
Just curious...I'm a sucker for sacraments. Actually, the hearing felt pretty damned sacramental to me. I almost genuflected when we walked into the room.

A family christening gown...what a gift. Neither The Spouse or I were raised Catholic so The Child was the first (and only) grandbabby to be baptised. My mom make a beautiful gown for her, even incorporating the lace hankie from my wedding day into the sleeves. She embroidered D's initials and the date of her baptism onto the undergown (a Victorian thing). We bring it out on the anniversary. One year we were looking at the embroidery and she said, "So, when I have babies and they are baptised you're going to add their initials?" "Yep," I said. "That's so cool," she replied. "And then I'll get to do that for my grandkids, right?"

It's a profound thing, that handing on of tradition.

Please kiss Kiki on the head for Auntie Raine.

From Mommy:
Auntie Raine:

So here is a Facebook first.

So, for reasons having to do with my basically introverted nature, you are the only fellow-parishoner I know at the Cathedral. Combined with the fact that you are one of Peter's long-time Seattle friends and are "a sucker for sacraments," we wonder if you would be Kiki's Godmother, alongside my dearest friend, (albeit a Presbyterian), Lydia.

We might want to talk about this. So call when you can.


From Aunt Raine:

Well, my first reaction is "OMG" and the second, on its heels is, "I'd be honored". Of course, you realize if we go through with this, that I will insist on spoiling her, right?

End Text

And that was that.

Since then the wisdom of our choice for Godmother has been confirmed, over and over again. In addition to having reverence for the sacrament, Godmother Lorraine knows the Catholic terrain of Seattle (church and schools) and manages to think (with some considerable humor) and be Catholic at the same time. But most importantly, she loves our dumpling (I love that word!).

June 17, 2009 6:32 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

You make me cry, Suzanne.

June 17, 2009 9:12 AM  
Blogger Pamelamama opined...

how simply wonderful. *sniffle*

July 05, 2009 11:18 PM  
Blogger Lakshya Dhillon opined...

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January 18, 2016 2:22 AM  

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