Designers, Gather 'Round....

If you've already been by Hat's this morning you know that she and I love "Project Runway" and are, with the possible addition of Monica and Anne, going to play a little game wherein every Wednesday night we dress up to watch the show, taking care to document the ensemble photographically and posting said pictures with our reviews the next day. I'm giving it 2 weeks.

Now you've been warned that this post is all about the agony and ecstasy that is "Project Runway" so if you're looking for sturdier fare best to be moving along now.

I also have to make sure to not read Hat's posts until I'd written my own because a) it makes it harder to be original because I have to try and avoid repeating what she said and 2) it will be way more fun if we do say the same things without knowing it and then we can laffity laff about it over coffee later.

Hat did refer to the "hot Israeli guy", name of Rami, who won the first competition. I second her hotness nomination but would caution her that his last name, Kashou, is pronounced "cashew" and if she marries him it will be really awkward.

Hat and Tim Gunn Theatre

"Pleased to meet you. I'm Hat Kashou."

"Bless you, Hat. I'm Tim Gunn, your long lost uncle. But I didn't catch the last name."

"Kashou."

"Bless you. Seriously, you're last name..."

"I said, it's 'Kashou.'"

"Goodness! Bless you again, darling; here's the perfectly pressed, monogrammed handkerchief I always carry for such a circumstance. Now, about your name..."

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Here's my picture. I was wearing a terrific little ensemble: grey windowpane plaid tulip skirt, cashmere turtleneck, knee high black boots. All you get is this, though.

There's only one crappy picture because someone who shall go nameless (but lives next door and whose nickname rhymes with "babe") totally forgot that last night was the premiere and went out to dinner. Are. You. Kidding. Me? Anyway, I had hoped for her help with the "fashion shoot" but what the hey hey. If Hat has to take her own pictures then so do I. I'll do better next week.

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First of all, the main reason to watch this show, imho, is Tim Gunn. Why do I love him so on PR and never make time anymore to watch the actual show he has on Bravo where he's on screen way more? Because his own show on Bravo stinks. He doesn't stink, mind you. In fact, I'm fairly certain he smells faintly of bay rhum. But it is a show that simply hasn't held my interest. His sidekick is thoroughly annoying and their relationship bears none of the wit, banter or obvious affection that is shared between Stacy and Clinton on "What Not to Wear"...with which "Guide to Style" is intended to compete. 'Cept it doesn't. Stacy and Clinton have No. Thing. to worry about. Where was I?

Tim Gunn. I adore him. I try really hard to impersonate him. It's harder than you think. I want to politely but warmly shake his hand and invite him to join me for a snifter of brandy in the library. (He's not the kind of guy you'd squench up in a sloppy hug and take for beer). He is simply the best thing about the show...a position borne out by the stupid text message contest thing that Bravo always does during their reality shows. (I hate that, btw).

Who I hate on PR? Michael Kors. He's really bitchy and worse than that, he thinks he's funny. He's so not.

Heidi Klum was looking superfantastic as always. I was a little annoyed that her first meeting with the designers was shot almost entirely with the camera behind her, up and at an angle. "All the better to see all the designers, my dear," says you.

"All the better to show us that her butt, tightly swathed in black, is fierce and this after having had her 3rd or 4th Seal pup", says me. But really. That simply was not kind. To any viewer with body image issues, I mean. It was obviously superfantastic for Heidi.

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First challenge: using obscenely gorgeous fabrics, design something that will tell us who you are as a designer.

This is only the first week so of course this is going to change but I'd have to say that my favorite designers thus far are Carmen (funny, tough, used to be a model herself), Kit (little bit of punk sensibility, without the apparent ego of Jeffrey and if you watch PR you know what I mean), Jillian, because I liked her dress and also because she totally reminds me of that actress who's name I can never remember but who I really like and always have to look up on IMDb before I remember. See?





Jillian, the designer







Sofia Milos, the actress

Twins separated at birth, people.

I also like Kevin, who's a dreamboat.

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Most people watch PR for the crazy fashion. Me, I always end up judging clothes by what I myself would wear. I also always root for the nicest people. Which is why I've only ever once been pleased with the winner (Chloe...season 2). That's also why my favorite dresses were this one, by Christian:



















And this number by Steven:



















I don't like Christian much, though. He's a pissy little dude and ever so impressed with himself. Look to him for some major bitchiness this season. Steven is his polar opposite, quiet and unassuming. He will be flying under the radar with consistently beautiful things. I suspect he won't actually win a challenge until later in the season. But he's super talented. I also like him because he's from Chicago.

Other notable designers, for one reason or another:

Sweet P, who is the most likely to either become one of my absolute favorite personalities or make me drive my Harley off a cliff.

Victorya, most likely to stick a stiletto in someone's back.

Ricky, most likely to break down and blubber during a judging.

Rami, the future Mr. Hat (bless you), with this little number:



















As you can see, it is a perfectly lovely dress, crafted in grey silk gorgette. My biggest issue with it, frankly, was that his model is, shall we say, endowed. Endowed girls shouldn't go braless. (No, Sling, they really shouldn't). There was an undulation factor on the runway that was unfortunate. The girls shouldn't compete with the fashion, know what I'm saying? But still, he won and that's fine because he's clearly talented.

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So let's talk about the losers. The first to go was a sweet, classy little thing named Simone Le Blanc (seriously), who made a not thoroughly horrible dress but the construction was abysmal. And I say that as someone who can't sew a lick. But it was really dreadful and the worst thing was that when asked to explain she said she got into a "time issue". Really? Honey, there were 15 other designers under the exact same time constraints as your sweet self and they all managed to finish their seams. Not to mention that most of them did much more ambitious things than you did (here's all the dresses...Simone's is the second one on the bottom row).

Not horrible, but still. Delivering the technical goods within time constraints is exactly the point of the competition. If she couldn't do it in week one, when she wasn't constrained by the limits of the challenge (make a day dress out of lettuce) then she was bound for a fall sooner rather than later. But she's cute as a button and I'll bet if she has other people sewing for her she'll make a fine designer without winning on PR. So bon chance, Simone.

Then there was Elisa. Elisa, who came second closest to being "auf'ed". Oh. My. Yord. What a freak. And I'm pretty sure the only reason she survived the cut (with a dress that, as Heidi said, "looked like it was pooing fabric") is because the producers are looking for her to provide a lot more interesting footage than sweet, sensible Simone. You can be a crappy designer and stay around a while, if you're nutty enough. And trust, Elisa is. She's a whack-O. A hippy dippy who "dyed" some of the expensive fabric by crushing it into the grass of Bryant Park. A nutjob who described her dress as having " a haiku of a cut". The sort of gal whose patchouli stench comes through the TV screen. The government should stop waterboarding prisoners and just leave them alone in a room with Elisa for 5 minutes. That'd win the war on terror.

All in all, a perfectly fine premiere episode of Season 4. Looking forward to next Wednesday. (Got that, Neighb? Wednesday. 10pm. Sheesh).