Sunday, February 25, 2007

My Superfantastically Well-Informed Oscar Picks

Yes, yes. Hollywood's Big Night and I am not too full of myself to admit that I lovealovealove the Oscars. The Neighbor is bringing BBQ and it's just gonna be a big night o' fun (which I hope ends by 10 because that's when "Battlestar" is on. Oh, won't this be a great evening?)

It is only fair to tell you that I haven't seen a single solitary one of the big films. Not one. So I'm just pickin' stuff 'cause I wanna.

Best Picture: Totally going with the absolute long-shot here, "Little Miss Sunshine". I know, I know. Best Picture never goes to a comedy. But this one has Toni Collette and Alan Arkin. Who I love.

Best Director: Frears or Scorsese will make me happy here. Clint Eastwood, not so much. I don't know what it is about him but he bugs me. And he's won lately, hasn't he? For that "Million Dollar Baby" thing?

Best Actor: This is a toughie. I like Will Smith & Forest Whitaker. But I absolutely, profoundly ♥ Peter O'Toole so I say, give it to him. Anyone know what movie he was in?

Best Actress: Called this one as soon as the nominations were made public. It will be Helen Mirren. Period. Although, this is a good time for me to mention my deeply held belief that the Oscars need a new category, 2 actually, Best Actor and Best Actress in a Performace as an Actual Person. Because as much as the portrayal of real people is an interesting challenge for an actor, it bugs me that people who create fictive characters always seem to be given short shrift next to the actors who portray known quantities. In the end, the latter can't help but end up being impersonation. It might be really good impersonation, but it isn't the same thing as truly creating a character. They make a distinction in the writing category between original screenplays and those adapted from other material. Samey same in the acting category, imho.

Supporting Actor: Give it to Marky Mark. Or Arkin. I'm good either way.

Supporting Actress: Much as I adore Cate Blanchett, I think it would be fun for Jennifer Hudson to get this. Mostly because she's not Beyonce.

Original Screenplay: We'll stick with our Best Picture pick here and say "Little Miss Sunshine".

Adapted Screenplay (see? 2 writing categories): Yeah, sure, "The Departed". (I do not even know what that movie is about).

Foreign Language Film: "Pan's Labyrinth". The previews were awesome.

Art Direction: I stand corrected. I have seen a nominated picture. However, since "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" took 2 hours of my life that I'm never getting back, I will vote for "Pan's Labyrinth". Because I'm nothing if not consistent.

Costume Design: Gotta go with "Marie Antoinette". ..truly fab stuff. Again, I've seen the previews.

Original Score: "Pan's Labyrinth". (I heard some of it on NPR. It was super neat).

Documentary Feature: Hush my mouth...another movie I actually saw! And I thought it was very good. So of course my Oscar pick here is for "An Inconvenient Truth".

Oh, and lo! Animated Feature Film: I also saw "Cars". And it was good. It was no "Toy Story" but it was close. So, yeah, it's got my vote.

And now I'm done because no one cares about all those other categories except the people who are nominated. Oh, and I suppose I should care about Original Song but ironically, even though 2 of the songs come from films I've actually seen, neither is ringing a bell. So I will just pass on that one. And it'll probably end up being something from "Dreamgirls" anyway.

Ellen DeGeneres will be hosting and I think she'll do a fine job. Her humor and style may be entirely too low-key for such a big show but she'll make me laugh, which is all I care about. I do hope that she wears nice shoes with her inevitable suit instead of sneakers. I mean, come on, Ellen. It is the Oscars. But then, I'm one to talk. I'll be barefoot and wearing my flannel jammies.

For those of you far too intellectual to bother with such trivial and mindless things as award shows, I hope you have fun working on your Latin translations or reading Tolstoy in the original Russian or whatever it is you do on a Sunday evening. The rest of us will be reveling in the bad gowns (and the good ones), the stupid speeches and the ones that make us cry, and probably spill something on ourselves at some point because we leap up in joy at the announcement of a winner. Ah. Oscar Night.

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8 Comments:

Blogger Sling opined...

I haven't seen a single one o' those movies either,but Ellen cracks me up,so I'll be watching.

February 25, 2007 2:18 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

I once saw her at a comedy club here in town, just before she got huge. She was coming down with a really bad cold and she still cracked me up. One of the funniest people on the planet. Period.

February 25, 2007 2:39 PM  
Anonymous the neighbor opined...

OK I want the pork rib dinner when you order, with cole slaw and beans for sides. If we're ordering dessert, I want pecan pie. I'll pick it up on my way home from church - don't forget to tape the first hour for me - I don't want to miss Ellen's opening monologue! Thanks!!!

XO nayb

February 25, 2007 2:59 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Argh!!! How spicy???? Oh no!!!! Oh. Wait. I can just call you.

February 25, 2007 3:04 PM  
Blogger Jon opined...

And what will you be spilling on yourself this evening, Miss Jammie-pants?

February 25, 2007 3:20 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

The nominees are:

Brisket McSaucison
Coleslaw O'Mayo
Baked DeBeans
Marilyn Merlot

And the winner is....

February 25, 2007 3:40 PM  
Blogger Dariush Alavi opined...

I remember getting hyper-excited about the Oscars as a kid... I think I even kept Oscar scrap books.

These days, I'm afraid I find it difficult not to be disdainful about them. Well, no, let me qualify that. I get disdainful about the choices and the system and the rules but I'm a real sucker for glitzy ceremonies, so I love the edited highlights the next day.

Unlike your good self, I HAVE seen all the nominated movies (and then some...) and no, even though Mr Scorsese is one of my favourite directors ever, I found his latest effort something of a sell-out, so it wouldn't have got my vote. I would've been torn between Little Miss Sunshine (which you really should watch) and The Queen.

Having said all that, there's always a plus side: Pan's Labyrinth won in three categories, so at least it'll go down in history as an Academy-lauded movie, which it certainly deserves to do.

Oooh, changing the subject. I've only just noticed that you've added me to your Links section. Thanks so much! I think that's the first time anyone's done that for me!

February 26, 2007 5:31 AM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

D: I'll certainly get around to "Little Miss Sunshine" and "The Queen" and "Pan's Labyrinth". I love movies...I'm just increasingly unmotivated to spend the $412 required every time one wants to see on in a theater; especially when things go so quickly to DVD.

I used to keep Oscar scrapbooks, too. All about the glitz. Complete sucker for it.

And you're very welcome...it's been there a while.

February 26, 2007 6:36 AM  

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