Tuesday, October 31, 2006

We Don't Need No Education

The Child was very excited to assist me in flouting all the dress code rules: big earrings, nail polish (black), dark lipstick, shirt not tucked in, socks not in school colors and which don't cover my ankle bones. And of course, I was chewing gum. She also thought it was pretty funny that we were in matching clothes, except of course, she wasn't breaking any rules.

I had every intention of going into school. My goal was to get into trouble with the principal. But when we got there I thought it should be cleared one more time with The Child.

"Is this going to embarrass you?"

"No! I think it's cool".

So cool in fact, that she wanted me to come up to her class. Which I did (because let's face it, all too soon this is exactly the sort of thing that will humilate her and ruin her life).

"Good morning, Mr. D.", I said, in my best Brooklyn accent. (Why? I don't know. It seemed tough). "I'm you're new student".

He smiled (he's really, really cute, btw) and said, "Yes, I've heard about you".

Then I fixed the class with a look and said, "This is what not to wear", wished them a happy Halloween and went down to the office where, after they recovered from laughter, I was given detention.

18 Comments:

Blogger Lex Lata opined...

(1) Only the good die young.

(2) What does the button on your sweater say?

October 31, 2006 9:55 AM  
Blogger Citymouse opined...

Okay... you should have about 1000 email of men online wanting to meet you now. LOL Great job. Isn't it cool when the offsping want to have a little fun too?

October 31, 2006 10:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Detention? You are grounded. And when that Eric boy calls, you will not be allowed to answer.

October 31, 2006 10:08 AM  
Blogger Unknown opined...

As Mom would say to me - "I'm never taking you out in public again!"

October 31, 2006 10:15 AM  
Blogger Nicole opined...

I bet the Spouse got that Joey-how-you-doin look in his eye when he saw that picture.

October 31, 2006 11:41 AM  
Blogger Unknown opined...

Terrific!!! Both the tale and the costume are just terrific! And the comments above... everyone is PERFECT! JP, I am laughing my a$$ off. Nicole, the perfect way to describe "that look". And citymouse... Dateline should use Lorraine as the decoy in their "to catch a predator" series, don't ya think? OMG... I am laughing so hard tears are rolling down my face... Lorraine, you rock!

October 31, 2006 12:48 PM  
Blogger Unknown opined...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

October 31, 2006 12:53 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

LA, "Question Authority". Of course. (Bonus points if you can figure out the title of the textbook I'm carrying).

Citymouse, Very cool. I was so afraid she'd chicken out once we actually got to school.

JP: I HATE YOU!!!! YOU NEVER LET ME DO WHAT I WANT!!! YOU'RE RUINING MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!! (slams door and plays Hillary Duff really, really loud)

Alan, Mike! McGavick loves the look.

Nicole: Thanks for reminding me to change before he gets home.

Gina, Glad I could brighten up your day!

October 31, 2006 1:33 PM  
Blogger jLow opined...

I LOVE that The Child wanted you to come to her class so everyone could see you!

That speaks volumes about what a great Mom you are and what a great relationship the two of you have.

And yeah, be sure the costume is put away before The Perv, er, Spouse gets home.

October 31, 2006 2:56 PM  
Blogger Lex Lata opined...

Puh-leeze. America: the Book.

Plus, I would note that my first inclination was to comment, "Catholic girls start much too late." I think I should get more bonus points for showing a little restraint, there.

October 31, 2006 3:52 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Jlow, Me, too. Speaking of pervy spouses, are you going to be a dance hall girl tonight?

Thanks Charlie. Now get back to work.

LA: Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner. And yes, you get extra, extra points for holding back on the Billy Joel. You ALWAYS get points for that.

October 31, 2006 4:01 PM  
Blogger HORIZON opined...

LOL- just love it- you brave and sassy girl!!
Like the odd socks and nails- help!! So realistic!
Now be honest, did you want detention??
Happy Halloween :)

October 31, 2006 4:14 PM  
Blogger Iwanski opined...

You are the coolest.

Happy Halloween!

October 31, 2006 4:28 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Horizon, If not detention, at least a good scene as the principal reprimanded me in front of everyone. And frankly, I'm kind of loving the black finger nails. It's a look.

Geez, Iwanski. Thanks.

October 31, 2006 5:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Good job!..You Catholics are a naughty bunch.. :)

October 31, 2006 6:44 PM  
Blogger Lorraine opined...

Not that naughty. Not most of us, anyway.

October 31, 2006 6:55 PM  
Blogger Grish opined...

Hey, They say this kind of thing is all kinds of healthy for a marriage. I'll have to email Eric so us guys can talk...:P

November 01, 2006 12:17 AM  
Blogger jLow opined...

Re: the nail polish - I KNOW!! Who'da thunk us middle-aged married chicks w/kids would like the dark polish? One of my favorites (and I always get compliments on it because IT IS A GREAT LOOK) is Revlon's Vixen.

November 01, 2006 7:41 AM  

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