Why She's The Child

Inquiring (and beer-buzzed) minds recently asked how old The Child was. This wasn't untoward prying. The individual in question was just surprised to find a "child" cooking dinner.

A few years ago I wrote a column for the parent newsletter at The Child's school. I came up with the devise of "The Child" and "The Spouse", not for the sake of anonymity (it was a small school) but because my goal was to touch on universal parenting/family themes. I fancied myself the person who was willing to say out loud what everyone was thinking. In removing our names from the narrative I was creating a modern-day "Everyman"...not so much telling our family story as the story of all families.

When The Child had her birthday this year I considered giving her a new name, such as "The Tween". I could not limit myself to lifestages at all and just call her The Daughter but in the end "The Child" isn't about age but relationship. Years from now (many years, a college degree, 1 year in Europe & a couple years of working) when she presents us with our first grandchild, she will undoubtedly still be The Child.

For the record, she is 12. Also for the record, she's actually been cooking in some capacity since she could stand, although these days she is allowed to use a knife and operate with a degree of independence. Tonight she is preparing meat pies.

So, Miss Healthypants, I hope that answers your question and I hope your head doesn't hurt....