Monday, July 20, 2009

I Had a Little Breakthrough

More of an "a-ha moment", actually. (The psychological phenomenon, JP; not the band). I was sitting out in the garden journalling this morning and I realized something huge.

It was occuring to me how odd it is that all the tasks that held a kind of glamour when I had time to do them have suddenly turned into chores. Even blogging, the first thing I used to joyously rush to do in the morning, has taken on a sense of obligation.

Here I've been, framing my challenge in terms of time (specifically, not having enough thereof) when the issue has been joy. When the time went away - or reconfigured or limited or whatever - so did the joy of doing.

I went from not having any chores, because I didn't perceive them as such, to chore upon chore piling up because no one likes to do chores. No one likes to come home from a day of work and have to clean the house or have to make dinner. No one likes to spend a Saturday morning running errands and buying groceries. (And I love grocery shopping -or at least I did before I had to do it on Saturday morning).

This is what I have to resolve. Not how to manage my time but how to restore a love of doing in all the things in which I used to find so much joy and satisfaction. It is a lovely thing that my job brings me so much satisfaction. But I find satisfaction in clean rooms, tidy gardens and beautifully prepared food, too. I have been setting it up, in my mind, as an either/or proposition but I don't believe it is true that you can have only one deep satisfaction at a time. Not true at all.

I think I'm going to go arrange some roses.

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Blogger Bad Alice opined...

All those things are definitely chores to me. I've never found a way around it. They keep me from reading and writing and goofing around.

July 20, 2009 8:05 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

work gets in the way of a lot of things. i was just thinking about taking a day off so i can do things around the house i don't have time for.

July 20, 2009 8:22 AM  
Blogger Anne opined...

oops. (continued)

my gardens are so sad looking, laundry is piled too high. I don't mind doing these things, i just don't like having to cram them all in at the end of the day.

July 20, 2009 8:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

But at least the sun always shines on TV.

July 20, 2009 8:43 AM  
Blogger Al In The County opined...

You're right. I guess that's why we're always "searching". I'm doing the day zero project, where you commit to doing 101 things in 1,001 days. You should join me - it might bring some freshness into our lives. Just a thought.

July 20, 2009 11:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous opined...

Ba Ha Ha Ha

Thanks again for the Friday vid.

Not one of my favs. Seriously.

The one before that was just genius though, so thanks for doin' the chores.

And oh yes, Where's my book?



July 20, 2009 2:01 PM  
Blogger Sling opined...

Boy howdy,I know exactly what you mean.
Even working part-time,I'm finding it hard to read and write blogs like I'd like.
Fortunately,I still get to experience the joy of taking out the trash,and mowing the lawns,..dammit.

July 21, 2009 2:11 PM  
Blogger Pamelamama opined...

I struggle with this a lot. I don't love the homemaking thing. I wish I could frame it differently for myself. At least you have an inherent love for those things, I bet you can reconnect with it.


July 21, 2009 7:06 PM  
Blogger Grish opined...

This sounds awfully familar..It's almost like your in my head and once you figure this out I'd like to hire you as a life coach and when I say hire I mean no pay. In your spare time. For the fun of it. Between Cooking dinner, cleaning house, working, supporting a family and finding time to blog about it all...I'm tired now...think I'll take a

July 24, 2009 6:07 AM  
Blogger Miss Healthypants opined...

Sometimes I do find that after work at night, organizing a kitchen cupboard or something actually does feel good. Even though I'm tired, it does provide a certain sense of know what I mean? :)

July 24, 2009 6:07 PM  
Blogger Grandmère Mimi opined...

I know what you mean, Lorraine. Blogging was a joy for me in the beginning, but then I began to feel an obligation, and it came to seem like a chore. Weekly, I think about giving it up, but then something comes up that I want to blog about. We'll see.

Bad Alice sent me over because I love Brideshead Revisited and have read it over and over, and she said that you love it, too.

July 26, 2009 10:42 AM  

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