KIDS!
I was tidying up the family room because The Spouse had someone coming over to watch the rough cut of the movie and I wanted the room to be less sticky. Plus, I lost an earring recently and needed to find it. So I opened up the couch. And dammit! My sugar whore of a child had secreted about 412 pounds of dead candy wrappers in all the hidey bits of the sofa. Oh, sure, she's got the metabolism of a hummingbird right now but one of these days she's just going to expand and be one of those people on TLC "World's Largest Human" shows. Which is to say, a person simply cannot live on sugar alone!
Not to mention, but I will, it was easier to get her to go to bed when she was 2 than it is these days.
Dammit, dammit, dammit!
When things like that happen, it's very important for a parent to try to remain calm, to remember that she does in fact love her child.
I am Smilebox's bitch. I'm checking into rehab tomorrow.
Not to mention, but I will, it was easier to get her to go to bed when she was 2 than it is these days.
Dammit, dammit, dammit!
When things like that happen, it's very important for a parent to try to remain calm, to remember that she does in fact love her child.
I am Smilebox's bitch. I'm checking into rehab tomorrow.
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Labels: The Child
cobbled together by Moi at 7:06 PM
22 Comments:
Now that was really nice.
(and you'll love her no matter what show she ends up on.)
Thanks, CB. And I know I will. (Oh, please God, don't let it be "The Girls Next Door").
Fine white crystals... They are all addictive, no? Breathe deep, and have the talk when calm. Does she take after mom and love to cook?
"Talk when calm". Good advice, Tater. Or I could just plaster her walls with photos of diseased and cavity-ridden teeth. THAT might be effective.
And yes, she does enjoy cooking. Particularly pastries. Seriously, her 2 favorite food groups are sugar and fat.
Your such a good mom. When that happened with my son (candy wrappers under the bed) I flipped. I yelled. I made him clean it all out and took away candy for a month.
aaaahhhhhh, I love the child, sugar high and all!
Don't be fooled, Mouse. She's already on notice that Halloween is in play.
Seriously.
I don't frakking buy candy. She takes her allowance to volleyball practise, gets stuff out of the vending machine and hides it! I told her that any time I find candy in her room it's going straight into the garbage.
I suppose I should be grateful that it's candy, not drugs. But really, until she pays her own dental bills, this has got to STOP!
Yeah, I love her, too, Twisi. Silly little sugar whore.
I'm only laughing because the Hurricane got wise and started ditching his wrappers behind his dresser. Oh yeah, there was an explosion the day I found that stash! And since I don''t keep the stuff in the house.. sneaky little rascal.
He gets the "do you know what that's doing under your braces?" lecture often.
My mom still loves me and I used to sneak sugar and butter mixed together.
And, I'm not on TLC.
Yet.
Yeah, D, when I confronted her about the wrapper stash she actually had the temerity to laugh. Like she'd been oh so clever.
Anne, you give me hope.
Sugar whore. I love that. I was a gum whore when I was a kid. Now I'm a chocolate whore. Fewer wrappers. She'll learn.
Now officially rethinking the whole "summer in France" thing. You're supposed to have my back, Nicole!
you made me cry...damm i don't need to be losing any more tears at the moment
Did you tear up when you finished this collage? Because I am a mess right now I'll have you know. And that sad look that she gets? Yeah, it kills me.
Those Mariners shots oughta be in National Geographic. Or Smilebox. Whichever. You two made me want to pop right through this screen and hug you.
Ditto what booda baby said.
That's some classic Americana right there!
The fun you're having with smilebox is fun for us as well.
Win-Win!
I'm sorry, Ro. Why don't I see if there's any candy left in those wrappers...
What do you think, Hat? Probably just the schmaltzy music, though.
Booda, yeah, when I was putting that together I was all, "Damn, these are some really good baseball pictures!" Really good seats, too. Beat the Yankees. Good times.
Aw, Sling, you're so indulgent of my little peccadillos.
aww, i'm going to call my mother!
She'll appreciate that, Monica. And maybe she'll even take you to a ballgame.
So so so precious.
Renee, oh, what happened to her little chubber chubber cheeks? You better go kiss Wills and Harry RIGHT NOW!
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